Self love: creating a sensorial moment to enjoy solo

Love comes in many forms, from self-love to the love of your life, and recently we’ve all had more time on our hands… a little more time to explore ourselves…

Soak Sunday is all about creating a self care experience, where the outside world dissolves and your mind, body and soul unite, and you might be familiar with setting the scene when it comes to romantic encounters with others… a lit candle, seductive playlist, massage oil and so on, so why can’t a solo session of self pleasure be treated the same?

Exploring your own body through self pleasure can help boost your sex life, build confidence and self esteem. Not only do they feel good, orgasms are known to help with sleep, improve general well-being, de-stress and release mood-boosting endorphins. Plus, you knows your body better than you?

Last week on our stories, we asked you about your opinions on self love & pleasure. Time to share…

55% of us don’t feel comfortable talking about self pleasure
91% of us find that other people treat masturbation as a taboo subject

76% of people masturbate to help them de-stress

Despite 86% of us thinking that self pleasure is an act of self care…
Only 26% of us treat self pleasure as an act to prepare for, putting aside time to indulge, light a candle, sink into a hot bath, enjoy a little you time…

But since 51% of us get more satisfaction from solo sex sessions… sounds like a reason to indulge, because who knows your body better than you?

Continuing the conversation after seeing those results, we talked to Paisley Gilmour (Sex and Relationships Expert & Writer) about how you can make self love feel a bit more like self care, after all ‘the relationship you have with yourself is one of – if not the – most important…’

‘Self-love isn’t something that comes naturally to all of us. Many of us are really good at caring for others, but don’t quite show ourselves the same love. Dedicating time to ourselves is still often thought of as selfish or frivolous – especially in a culture where working hard and achieving is glamorised. But the relationship you have with yourself is one of – if not the – most important.

This is why self-love can be so vital - especially at a time when stress and anxiety are so high. And one of the best, easiest and most luxury ways to promote emotional wellbeing is self-care. Self-care means different things to all of us, and one person’s ritual might not necessarily work for the rest of us. But there’s a hell of a lot of fun to be had, and joy to be found, in finding out. From lighting a scented candle and pouring some oil, to slipping into a bath and popping on your favourite podcast, these rituals have an amazing ability to relax us and boost our mood.

Once we’re truly relaxed, we can really lean in to self-love. Sexual wellness and masturbation are huge parts of self-love for many. There’s still a lot of shame and stigma around self-pleasure, especially for women and vulva-having folk. So, if you feel that way, know you’re not alone. But the truth is, not only is masturbation really fun, it (and orgasms, although coming doesn’t have to be the end goal) can reduce stress and anxiety, help us sleep, promote body confidence and connect us to our bodies more, too.

Most of us wouldn’t think twice about creating an intimate and cosy atmosphere for a night in with a partner. We should treat ourselves in exactly the same way.’ Paisley Gilmour, Sex & Relationships Expert and Writer

For some, talking about sex and self pleasure can be a little daunting, so we hope this has helped you feel more confident & empowered.  (Lights a candle, turns on The Love Playlist…) 

Speaking of… go checkout Soak Sunday’s latest Spotify playlist The Love Playlist here, for music to get you in the mood solo or with someone else …